I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
