being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
