I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
