I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
