I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
