Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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