yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
