when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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