Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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