Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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