it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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