These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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