...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
