Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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