Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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