Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
