I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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