My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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