Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
