Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
