he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
