you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
