It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
