I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
