Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
