dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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