Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
