my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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