next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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