Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
