is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
