Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
