I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
