I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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