How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
