i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
