I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
