I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
