A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
