We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
