I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
