I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
