Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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