she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
