She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
