Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
