Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
