it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
