We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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