i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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