i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
