It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
